mine first - mine last - mine even in the grave
by elspoek1
Summary: story by thr picture: Namine killed herself because Roxas wouldn't love her, but it turns out he does. he discovers it too late and he freaks. eventually, Sora tells Kairi he loves her which makes her angry what makes him do a horrible sin. summary sucks, story is better!


*Namine's side*

Namine walked around in the city of twilight town. She felt angry, betrayed, saddened but most of all, hurt.

Her depressed figure was being ignored by all the people walking past her. some would glance back at her but still walked further. She was happy with that. After all, no one could stop her. she already had everything planned for her.

She walked up to one of the houses in the street she knew as her own. She walked inside and entered the kitchen. She grabbed one of the knifes in the standard and then walked back to the hallway and up the stairs towards her own room.

Her room was small but filled with paintings. She walked over towards her desk and opened her laptop who welcomed her with its blinding rays in the dark. She went to her love's photo album he kept on it since his own laptop broke. She saw the pictures of him. His blonde gravity defying hair she liked and his blue eyes she had grown to love. "Roxas…" she whispered

There was another figure on the picture with him. He held his arms around her, kissed her cheeks. There was one thing she hated about this picture, that other person wasn't her. It was her best friend, Xion.

Xion knew she loved Roxas. She knew everything. Namine frowned. She printed out all of the pictures of Xion and Roxas together. She scattered them around her room. She looked for her red crayon. She checked her crayon box, her normal pencil box, she checked her pile of rubbish, but did not find it.

She then grabbed her knife, apparently, fait wanted to do this earlier. She cut her wrist which made her blood flow, she bit back the painful scream continued with her idea. She stuck her finger inside a small pool of blood on the ground and began to draw on the pictures. On every picture of Xion and Roxas, Xion's head was replaced by blood.

Once she had all of the head replaced, she began to draw one word on the ground, "Mine". Namine smiled as a tear rolled down her cheek. She then spoke out the words of her favorite book. _"If thou didst but know what my love for thee is!-It is fire; it is molten lead; It is a thousand daggers in my heart! Strike me; heap indignities upon me, do what thou wilt; but, for mercy's sake, love me!"(- the hunchback of the Notre dame)_

At the last words, she sliced through her wrist one final time. She felt herself weaken, she lied down with a thud, feeling tired. She saw her knife rolling out of her hand.

She almost had her eyes closed until her door opened. She saw a shocked Roxas, he just stood there at first. "Nami…" he said. he fell down in shock. "what have you done?" he asked. At that moment, she regretted it. she saw a look in his eyes that he never showed to Xion. It was love, but he never realized it. But it was too late, as Namine's heart beating stopped.

She thought she would be in peace now, but that would never happen. She would always remember that look on his face in the afterlife.

KHKHKH

*Roxas' side*

Roxas was on a date with Xion. He didn't exactly enjoy it. he couldn't help but think that it was bad to leave his pictures on Namine's laptop. Especially since Xion told him just mere seconds ago that Namine is apparently in love with him. That wasn't what bothered him, if all he felt … happy. He didn't know why. What bothered him though, is that Xion laughed when she said it.

"Why are you laughing?" he asked her annoyed.

"well, don't you think it's funny? She's just so pathetic and now she has a pathetic crush on you." She said bitterly.

"I don't get it, she's your best friend!" Roxas shouted.

"not quite." She said. "I only hang out with her because I think it's sad that she doesn't have any friends. I mean, have you ever seen her without her sketch book? THAT is her best friend." Xion said before she had another laughing fit.

Roxas looked at her in disgust. "I can't believe you." Roxas said. "Namine deserves way better than you. Go look for someone else as your boyfriend." He said before leaving.

He ignored Xion's shouts for him. He wanted to see Namine. He wasn't sure if he should tell about Xion or not. He didn't know if he felt something for Namine. The weird thing was, he didn't regret that he just dumped Xion. She was a heartless who didn't deserve his heart.

Roxas crossed the street and walked up the pavement of the house of the girl who was currently filling his mind with question marks. He wanted to ring her doorbell but saw a paper attached to it saying the bell wasn't working. He knocked on the door and waited.

After a few minutes he realized she wasn't home. He looked under her doormat and found the spare key. He laughed at the old fashioned way of hiding the spare key and then entered the house, deciding he would wait for her arrival.

He entered Namine's small cute house. If only he saw that her shoes were lying on the floor, he could've stopped her. he walked in the kitchen, deciding he would eat something since he left Xion before dinner has arrived.

He acted like he was home, since he has been here so many times. He noticed one of the knifes missing from the standard which he thought was weird since Namine was very keen on her knifes and always kept them in their standard. If they were dirty, they were immediately cleaned. He ignored it though and went to make himself a sandwich.

He thought he heard someone talking upstairs but ignored it. He grabbed his sandwich and wanted to have a bite from it until he heard a loud thud. He put down his sandwich and went to check in on it. He ended at Namine's door and slowly opened it. He saw Namine lying on the ground, lifeless. "Nami …" he looked at her in shock. He thought at first this was just another one of her Halloween jokes, she always had those.

Though, there was something off. He noticed Namine was still breathing a little, but she was trying hard to. The room was scattered with pictures. His pictures and they were covered with blood and there were letters written with blood which formed the word "mine". He looked at her right hand and saw her missing knife with blood on it. The smell of her blood was rushing up to his nostrils and he then knew, this was real.

He fell down to his knees in horror, shock and disbelieve. "what have you done?" he asked. He wasn't sure if he was asking that to himself or to her. But the answer never came, as she had closed her eyes for the last time.

"Namine?" Roxas asked. He shook her lightly but to no avail. "Namine!?" He shook her more. There was no response. He checked her pulse but there was no heart beat. He panicked and immediately took out his cell phone and dialed 911.

After that he began to try and stop the bleeding. He was shouting, hoping the neighbors would hear and come in with their spare key to help. No one came. He was on his own. Eventually he dropped Namine. He gave up. He only looked in horror now at the bloody mess what was once the pure shy Namine.

Tears rolled down his eyes as he couldn't keep his eyes away from her. He felt like he disappointed her. He felt like he could do more to save her. He failed. He heard the door being kicked in and he saw the paramedics rush in the room.

They were doing CPR on her. But nothing worked. One of them walked up to Roxas. "are you okay?" he asked. Roxas didn't answer, he just stared forward. He saw them stop giving her CPR as they had also given up. Roxas then knew, it was over.

KHKHKH

Roxas sat down on one of the chairs they had set outside next to the dirt and before the whole they had dug for Namine. He looked at all the people and noticed that there actually wasn't any family there. The only people who were there were him, Sora and Kairi. He was getting angry about that. How could her family not come to this pure angel's funeral?

Though there was one more person who was going to sit right next to him. She sat down and held his hand. Roxas looked at the culprit as his anger grew even more. "Xion, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"I'm here for Namine." She said.

"oh please, you don't give a damn about her." Roxas said. "just four days ago you said that she was never your friend! I don't want you to be on this funeral so you can get sympathy from other people, go, scram!" he shouted.

Sora and Kairi looked at him in shock. Xion stood up from her seat looking offended. "ass." She said before leaving. Roxas took a deep breath before calming down again. Sora and Kairi decided not to ask him about it.

There were some people saying things about Namine's life, but Roxas didn't pay attention to that. He was only focusing on Namine's coffin. He was afraid something would happen to it. That someone would drop it or something.

Eventually, the talking stopped and they dropped Namine's coffin slowly in the hole in the ground that has been dug specially for her. one of the people grabbed a bit of dirt and threw it on Namine's coffin, laying comfortingly on the ground.

The loud noise coming from the impact snapped something in Roxas. It was a snap of realization. He couldn't help but think … no … know it was his fault. If he didn't go out with Xion this wouldn't have happened. If he would've checked if she was upstairs earlier, he could've stopped her. if he would've done a better job in keeping her alive, she might still live. It was all his fault that the shy Namine is now dead.

A small tear streamed down his cheek. He felt like he killed her himself.

Roxas felt a hand on his shoulder, when he looked up he found it to be Kairi. she too had tears on her cheeks. She smiled at Roxas and gave him a hug. Roxas then spoke out a few words he didn't realize was true. he didn't know why he said it, there weren't any thoughts by it. "I loved her." he whispered in Kairi's ear.

His own eyes widen in surprise. Did he? Kairi stopped the hug. She looked at him and replied, "I know." She did? Roxas was now put in confusion of his own feelings.

KHKHKH

The next day on school was hard. Roxas was sitting in the cafeteria with Sora and Kairi. he looked at all the other people in here. most of them were joking around, some were just simply talking and sometimes laughing. It bothered him.

"Roxas?" Sora asked. "do you want to come with Kairi and I to Namine's grave tonight?"

Roxas looked around in the cafeteria again. the only ones who were touched b Nami's dead were Sora, Kairi and himself. Before thinking, Roxas climbed up the table and began to shout, catching everyone's attention.

"what is WRONG with you guys!? Someone died a few days ago!" he shouted. Sora tried to get him off the table but to no avail. "Namine died and you are all here just messing around!?"

"Kairi, please go get a teacher." Sora asked as he was still trying to get Roxas to stop shouting. "Roxas, come on man." He said. Kairi quickly ran away to find a teacher.

"no! Namine … Namine deserves better than this!" he said. then he jumped off the table and ran away.

"Roxas!" Sora shouted after him. He went to follow him. Rumors were now spreading on school what annoyed Roxas even more.

Roxas kept running. He had no idea where, but he had to be somewhere. His heart was telling him what turns he had to take. He looked over his shoulder to find out Sora had given up. When he looked to his front view again, he found out he was at his own house.

He went to the backyard and the shed. He opened the shed and followed his heart. his told him to go to the right, he closed his eyes while walking. Eventually, he stopped. When he opened his eyes, he found his mom old mirror. There was a faint crack in it. he looked at his shattered face and noticed his eyes weren't blue anymore. They were yellow.

However, this wasn't what his heart wanted to show him. He looked down and know what his heart wanted. There, lying on the ground was a shovel.

KHKHKH

Roxas waited till it was nighttime to go to the cemetery for it would be empty then. he now stood by Namine's grave once more. He was holding his shovel in his right hand. He looked around one final time before digging in.

He didn't know how long he has been digging already. His hands were getting sore and he was beginning to get blisters, but he didn't care. Eventually he hit something with his shovel. He shoved away the dirt and found Namine's coffin. He began to cry a little again. he wrecked the coffin open and found his beautiful angel to be lying inside safe and sound. He smiled lovingly. He picked the corpse up bridal style and climbed out of the hole.

He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and laughed a bit.

"R-Roxas? What have you done?" he heard a guy voice ask. He looked up to find out that voice belonged to Sora. behind Sora was Kairi. she held her hand before her mouth in shock and disgust.

"I … she …" Roxas had no words for it. he looked down at Namine and was shocked. Her eyes were wide open and she was smiling at him. "L-Look! She's alive!" he shouted. Happiness was written all over his face. He hugged Namine tightly and was laughing. He smiled as Namine was laughing along with him. Tears of happiness were streaming down his face. "can't you see?" he asked as he shoved Namine their way.

But to Sora and Kairi, it was a dead corpse he was shoving their way. There was no life in Namine. "Roxas, Namine is dead." Sora explained.

"w-what are you talking about? Don't you see? She's smiling!" he said happily. But Namine wasn't smiling at all. She was dead, but not in Roxas' mind. "I love you, Namine." He said dreamingly at her.

"I love you too, Roxas." She said.

Roxas' smile broadened and he kissed her on her lips. Only now did he notice how cold she was. Kairi began calling 911 now and Sora tried to get him to stop kissing Namine's corpse. Roxas eventually stopped. "she's cold." He said.

"that's because she's dead, Roxas! Dead!" Sora shouted at him.

Roxas frowned. "shut up! She's not dead! She's alive! Can't you fucking see that she has her eyes open!?" he shouted.

Eventually the loud noises of the police cars and the ambulance was heard. Roxas then stood up with Namine in his arms. He wanted to run away but Sora stopped him. The police grabbed Roxas by his wrist and walked away with him. Roxas accidentally dropped Namine on the ground. When he looked at her there, lying on the ground, he saw that she didn't move at all, she didn't open her eyes, nothing.

She was dead.

Roxas then surrendered to the cops and was eventually taken by the nearest asylum.

_"May you not rest as long as I am living! You said I killed you - haunt me, then! The murdered do haunt their murderers. I believe - I know that ghosts have wandered on earth. Be with me always - take any form - drive me mad! Only do not leave me in this abyss, where I cannot find you!"—wuthering heights_

KHKHKH

*Sora's side*

Sora was driven mad. He was head over heels for his best friend, Kairi. he tried everything. he would try to hold her hand, but she would take it back, he would try to stand really close to her, but she would walk away again.

At Namine's funeral, Kairi was very saddened, of course not as badly as Roxas, but she was still sad. Sora tried to comfort her by taking her hand but she took it back. He put his hand on her thigh too but she told him, "now's not the right time to try and flirt." A bit bitter too.

He understood then that she didn't feel the same about him. it drove him crazy. Though, if anyone was crazy, it was Roxas. Just moment ago he found Roxas on the cemetery with Namine's corpse which he dug up again out of her grave and told him she was still alive while she obliviously wasn't.

Kairi still seemed shocked. The cops told them they could tell them the story tomorrow on the station. Kairi seemed too shocked to be talking.

Right now, they were in her room. Sora looked at Kairi who was still crying. She bowed her head down muttering thing about that she lost two good friends now and that she think it's sad how their lives were or are going. Maybe now's the good time to tell her. "K … Kairi?" Sora began. "I … I just wanted to tell you that … I love you." He looked at her hopefully.

Kairi's head was slowly going up. "how can you tell me that now?" she asked. "Namine's dead, and Roxas is going into a fucking asylum!" she shouted. Sora cringed but didn't make her stop talking just yet. "two of my best friends, gone! and here you are to freaking tell me that you love me!? Don't you feel anything about what just happe-!"

Kairi was too late to finish her sentence. She was slammed against the mirror who cracked. A two hands were chocking her who belonged to the boy who just told her he loved her. "s-Sora?" she managed to choke out.

_"No one could ever love you like I do. No one ever will. We will be together forever. One way or another"_ (- the wrong man) Sora said. he didn't even realize what he was doing. Kairi saw that one of his eyes were the heartless kind. She could feel his hands were gripping tighter and tighter while her breathing was getting slower and slower.

She was gasping for air. Begging Sora to let go. Another friend was lost as Sora was chocking his loved one. He could hear her faint moaning, but it didn't reach his heart. "I … *gasp*hate *gasp* you." She said.

Sora's eyes widened. His heartless eye disappeared. He was finally back. He noticed he was still chocking her. in a flash he quickly dropped her in shock. "K-Kairi?" he asked in a panic.

He slowly crept over to her. he turned her so that she was facing him. her eyes were still open, but when he checked her pulse, there was nothing. He just killed his loved one. There would be no future with each other. The will be no dates, or wanted kisses. He could never look at her the way he always did.

He panicked even more now. He quickly tried to give her CPR. 'Pump pump, puff puff, check if she's breathing.' He thought.

After fifteen minutes, he stopped. She was officially dead. He stood up from his seat on the ground and looked at the beautiful creature he just killed. tears were falling down his face. When he turned around, he was shocked. Kairi stood there, and she was frowning at him. and in an instant, she disappeared.

KHKHKH

*Kairi's story*

Kairi was dead. She never believed in the afterlife till now. She died losing three friends in one week, two of them on the same day. She also died telling Sora she hates him. he killed her, and she felt like punishing him for it.

She saw him stand by her body, he was crying, but she didn't care. Eventually, he turned around. She was frowning at him. she noticed he saw her and quickly made sure she disappeared from his view. She saw that Sora panicked. He then just ran away. she was even more mad now, he just let her body rot there.

She decided to follow him. he seemed to be getting really scared on his way out of the house. She saw him run down the street and still followed him. eventually they ended up at his own house. She followed him inside. He ran up his room and put on a candlelight. He sat down on his bed.

He didn't see anything at first, he covered his eyes with both of his hands. In the reflection in the cupboard behind him was a reflection being seen of his back, but that wasn't the only thing that could be seen. Kairi looked at him, suddenly feeling guilty.

She crept over to him. she wanted to tell him it was alright, she wanted to calm him down. Although she never wanted to admit it, she was in love with him too. she just thought it was selfish of him to just flirt on her on her best friends funeral.

She stood behind him and hugged him. "Sora." she whispered in his ear. In shock he removed one finger from his eye and looked at her from the corner. "it's okay." She said.

Though it wasn't helping at all for him. "n-no … it's n-not." He said. he kept muttering that over and over. He murdered his one and only love. His thoughts were scattered everywhere. he felt disgusted, he felt lonely, he felt like vomiting.

Eventually he did vomit. He looked at the pile that just lied there on the floor. Then he stood up from his place and ran away, Kairi following behind. He ran out on the streets and ignored the people passing by who decided to have a night walk or just came back from a club.

He just ran, and ran, and ran. Kairi wanted to stop him. she jumped in front of him making him stop quickly. She then noticed they stopped at the asylum Roxas was put in. the word 'Sunny day.' Was written on a huge sign in neon letters.

She looked at Sora, he too was looking at the building. She saw him breath in and out quickly. Eventually he entered the building. Kairi walked after him. she saw a doctor walking over to him. he asked him what he was doing here. Sora however, was still muttering things. "it's not okay." He said. He said those words over and over again.

The doctor took Sora to a special room where they had a talk. Sora was now also a patient here. Kairi looked worried. What if he didn't like it here? "he'll like it." she heard someone call out. She recognized the voice immediately.

"Nami?" she turned around to see Namine. She was smiling. She wore only white, her skin was pale and her eyes were glistering.

"hey Kai." She said. their reunion was interrupted because Sora was now entering Roxas' room they would be sharing.

"R-Rox." Sora said weakly. Roxas looked at him in shock. "I … I killed K-K-Kai…" he said. "and she's following m-me."

Roxas stood up from his place. "Nami told me." He said. "come on, let's sit. We got a lot to tell each other." He said.

Namine smiled. "he got a little better." She told Kairi. "though he still has his attacks now and then."

Kairi smiled at her. "I missed you Nami." She said. then she began to cry.

Some would say it was a happy ending, but it was not. Sora and Roxas never became the same again. and Kairi and Namine were stuck being ghosts. They would never have peace. The only thing they could do, was pray for someone else to die so they won't be lonely. It was a selfish dream, but it was the only thing they could dream about.


End file.
